Why doctors will never find a cure for cancer. You read it here first.

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In reviewing Farrah’s Story last night on the BBC, there’s one thing I wanted to say, but couldn’t. Couldn’t, because if I had we’d have received a flood of complaints from doctors and other people who don’t know what they’re talking about, and I’d have been reprimanded, if not fired.

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For those who didn’t see it: Farrah’s Story was a documentary shown on NBC chronicling the final act in the sprawling theatrical production that has been Farrah Fawcett’s life.

Her timeline is well-known: became famous in the 70s as Jill Munroe, one of Charlie’s Angels; featured on an iconic wall poster that had teenage boys globally creaming themselves each night; married Lee Majors, The Six Million Dollar Man; divorced Lee Majors, after which he became, I assume, The Three Million Dollar Man; married Ryan O’Neal; divorced Ryan O’Neal; married Ryan O’Neal again; starred in a variety of TV dramas; posed nude in Playboy at the age of 48;  appeared on Letterman in a state of rambling disarray, giggling like a fool, and saying a bunch of stuff that made no sense; and finally, in 2007, contracted cancer of the anus and began to die.

The documentary focuses on the anal cancer and beginning to die part.

A lot of it was filmed by Farrah herself or by Alana Stewart, Rod Stewart’s ex-wife. It was both moving and life-affirming, and pulled in a whopping nine million viewers, a number so huge that there’s going to be a sequel, during which NBC, being a business and motivated almost entirely by voyeuristic self-interest and greed masquerading as real concern, will continue to track Farrah’s ghastly, sad, and very unfortunate decline.  

Anyway, here’s what I wanted to say on the BBC last night, but didn’t dare.

Cancer has become one of the biggest scares in the modern world. It’s also one of the most widespread. We all know people who are living with it or who have died from it. My own mother, for example. Like Farrah Fawcett, she relied very heavily at the time on God to step in at the last minute and save her. With enough prayer, she figured, there might be a reprieve. But he didn’t and there wasn’t, and now she’s gone. So I’d actively dissuade Farrah from going down that route.

As it is, various truths are surfacing about cancer right now that go contrary to conventional medical practices. It may surprise you to learn that I’m not a doctor. I don’t even play one on TV. That’s why there’s a big old disclaimer at the top of the page. I’m everyman. A guy whose mother died from a horrible disease when she probably didn’t need to. But here’s what I’ve learned. Maybe you’ll take something useful away from it. 

1) 80% of cancers heal themselves if we leave them alone. As soon as we’re diagnosed, we leap in there and start fighting it. But here’s the shocker: fighting cancer the traditional medical way may actually help spread it and kill you anyway! 

Sometimes the best reaction to such a diagnosis, apparently, is to relax into the experience. Eat right, meditate, do yoga, change your thinking, educate yourself about holistic treatments that oxygenate and alkalize the body (I’ve read that baking soda is the new big thing among some alternative doctors for treating cancer, and one guy in Canada is achieving encouraging results using cannabis resin), and generally bring the body into peace and balance so that the immune system is restored to good health and can do its job, which is to heal you.  

In that scenario, your goal as the patient would be to nurture your immune system so that it, in turn, can nurture you. Actually, this applies whether you’re sick or not.  

2) Cancer is often a reward; it’s just not the kind of reward you like. There are health practitioners out there, the more advanced-thinking ones, who don’t subscribe to cancer being a disease at all, but believe that in many cases it’s merely a harsh reminder from the body that you’ve been doing something wrong for the longest time, and now you need to get straight, pal, or pay a hefty price. 

Bill Maher got it right when he said that there’s no real mystery to why there’s an increase in cancer. “It’s in the food, people!”  Toxin-, sugar-, and chemical-filled food, as well as smoking, stress, drugs, lack of sleep, etc etc etc. - lead us on a downward path and deplete the body. We know this, we just so often choose to ignore it. 

3) Conventional medicine asks the wrong questions and does the wrong things. Cutting bits out of your body, blasting you with radiation, cramming you with drugs - it’s what doctors automatically do; they treat the symptoms. 

What they don’t do is go back to basics and treat the cause of the symptoms, by asking: “What is this disease trying to tell you? What have you been doing wrong all these years that you’ve driven your body into a state where it actually has to get ill before you’re willing to listen to it? And how are you going to correct this pattern so that the body can heal itself?”

And since there’s no money to be made from letting the body heal itself, it’s straight to surgery, pills, chemo – stuff that benefits the medical profession financially, but that in a lot of cases can do waaaaay more harm than good. Do you realize how many people die at the hands of doctors every year? The percentage is HUGE

Whenever I see a high-profile cancer sufferer on TV – Patrick Swayze, who was in a terrible way for a while; Dr. Randy Pausch, the Last Lecture guy that died; and dozens more – I always see that they’ve rushed to have radiation treatment or had huge chunks of their body cut out by doctors. Chunks that may be  really necessary to their recovery, but which they don’t have any more. 

I even heard that actress Christina Applegate had both her breasts cut off just in case she contracted cancer in the future. I mean, jesus! If that’s true, how insane is the faith we, as a society, place in men in white coats? At what point did we all get brainwashed into believing that doctors had all the answers? 

4) Conventional medicine will never find a cure for cancer. Are you crazy? D’you have any idea how many hundreds of thousands of people, would be put out of work if a cure were found? The billions of dollars that would be lost? How many institutes would have to close? As long as cancer thrives, so will big business and the millions who leech off it.

It’d be the same story if Jesus returned, as so many Christians believe he will, and started telling evangelicals that most of what they teach and believe is, in actual fact, an ugly contortion of  what God wants, and not even remotely related to what’s good or right. D’you think they’d rush to give up on their rigid beliefs, close down churches, shut down those ghastly, hypocritical, money-grubbing  TV networks they have? Not a chance. They’d simply find a way to crucify him all over again. 

Trust me on this one, I don’t care how much you donate to charity or how much research is done, or how many trials the drugs companies carry out – a 100% cure for cancer will never be found. Look how much money has been poured into research already, and yet cancer is more widespread than ever. It’s all a hoax.

5) Alternative treatments may provide an answer. The mother of a friend of mine defied five sets of doctors who each advised her to have a tumor removed from her breast. Instead, for five years, she went down the holistic route with all kinds of treatments – Asian mushrooms, Essiac tea, coffee enemas, stuff modern doctors laugh at and decry. But, according to her (and her doctor, too, years later), the tumor became benign and shrank and the cancer healed itself. 

Some more open-minded doctors are experimenting with plain old baking soda as a way of neutralizing tumors and the spread of cancer.

It seems baking soda kills cancerous cells. Sounds freaky, right? And I can’t vouch for it. But if you wanna know more, try reading Cancer Is Not a Disease by Andreas Moritz, also the author of my favorite health book ever, Timeless Secrets of Health and Rejuvenation.  An amazing piece of work.  

Cancer survivor Suzanne Somers is writing her own book about all of this right now. And film-maker Len Richmond recently released a documentary, called Everything Bad Is Good, which is fascinating.

I was interviewed for the movie, as a matter of fact, and told the tale of my mother’s slow death and what a wake-up call it was to me.

The basic message of Richmond’s work is this: 95% of disease is nutrition-related and caused by putting the wrong foods into your body. You didn’t look after yourself and now things have gone haywire. Change the way you live and the disease could go away.

This is interesting too. The male voice over sounds like it was done by Stephen Hawking, but otherwise it’s a powerful movie trailer.

Anyhow, that’s it. My ten-penneth. The sum total of my knowledge. So don’t write in, saying I don’t have all the facts. I’m aware of that already. That’s why I’m perfectly happy to leave the real heavy lifting to the experts. Like Suzanne Somers.  

I have to say, though, that, as I watched Farrah’s Story, all of this was buzzing through my mind. If only she hadn’t gone to doctors. If only she’d tried other ways. I just wish these people knew about the alternative treatments that are out there; that they don’t have to rush into surgery, and that, indeed, by letting doctors treat them in conventional ways, they may in fact be accelerating their own demise.  

Very sad.

 Update: she died in June. Some might say, “Well, of course.”  But really,  it’s even doubly sad.

Farrah”s Story gets four magic carpets out of five.

TV Swami – he say YES.

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Tags: Alana Stewart, alternative medicine, Andreas Moritz, Asian mushrooms, baking soda, breast cancer, cancer, cannabis resin, Charlie's Angels, chemotherapy, Christina Applegate, crucify, David Letterman, diet, Dr. Randy Pausch, Everything Bad is Good, Farrah Fawcett, Farrah's Story, God, health, holistic medcine, Jesus, Jill Munroe, Lee Majors, Len Richmond, meditation, NBC, nutrition, Patrick Swayze, Rod Stewart, Ryan O'Neal, Six Million Dollar Man, surgery, Suzanne Somers, TBN, the Last Lecture, yoga