Psssst! This way! Keep your head down.
Forgive me if I talk in whispers, but this is a big day on TV Swami. Because today we’re starting a rebellion. Oh yes.
Just a small one. Nothing too alarming. But one that could affect significantly people’s health and wellbeing for years to come if they dare to jump on board. I’m not exaggerating. There’s a chance here to be in on the ground floor of a revolution, in which a growing number of disaffected citizens unite to turn their back on:
- the massive PR spin put out by doctors, claiming that they actually know what they’re doing a lot of the time, when I don’t think that’s true;
- pharmaceuticals that usually don’t heal, they merely suppress symptoms or, worse, generate a whole bunch of new symptoms they didn’t have before. “This product may cause dizziness, dry mouth, kidney failure, headaches, nausea, collapsed lungs, a prolapsed colon….” You’ve seen the ads. “Ask your doctor if Phebopraximunxilkahesathite Plus is right for you.”
- the medical establishment which has such a stranglehold on media advertising, spending billions to brainwash the general public into believing that standard medical practices are the only way, even as they’re suppressing information that validates alternatives to taking pills or surgery.
Well, this is where we take a stand. Or at least, I do.
For the past three years, ever since a doctor told me I had only twelve hours left to live and removed my gallbladder, when in fact all I needed was, not surgery at all, but a harmless liver and gallbladder flush to remove stones that were causing me pain – since then I”ve become a disaffected health rebel. A wild man operating outside the system, researching my own health regimen and pushing doctors, and dentists even, to the farthest fringes of my life where I can’t see them. Having said that:
- Do I still pay for health insurance? Of course. This is America, you need a safety net;
- If I broke my leg, would I trust a doctor to treat it, or a dentist to handle a serious toothache? Sure I would, are you nuts?
I’m just handling the rest myself, that’s all. No more prescriptions, no more operations or treatments done in fear or panic. Prevention rather than cure. Anything less than a full-blown emergency is now in my court. I’m reclaiming my power.
Last night, I attended the 100th birthday party of Dolores Hope, Bob Hope’s widow. Phyllis Diller was there, and Bing Crosby’s former wife, and Gloria Stuart, that woman who played Rose in Titanic. She herself is almost 98 and holding up well. Kinda. As is Dolores, looking coiffed and well-turned out, even though she was confined to a wheelchair.
In fact, I’ve never seen so many people in wheelchairs in my life, outside of a convalescent home. It looked like the starting line of a go-kart race for the old and infirm. Everywhere I turned, it was hard not to trip over a body flopped lifelessly in a seat. Making this one of those fun but utterly tragic affairs that leaves you feeling happy (and in my case quite drunk on free champagne) but also contemplative and a little sad.
And it got me wondering, as I sat on Dolores and Bob’s sprawling couch, admiring their private golf-course beyond the patio doors: what’s the point of spending your life accumulating houses in Los Angeles and Palm Springs and hundreds of millions of dollars, if you’re too sick and tired to enjoy it? Is this truly our destiny? To be enfeebled and dependent and chair-bound when we’re older and barely able to slice our own birthday cake without the help of nurses and assistants standing by? Or is there another path?
What if we were to do things differently?
If we turned away from the previous generation – most of whom smoked and drank, did very little exercise, and generally assumed they’d be dead by 80 at the very latest, so why bother taking care of yourself? – and dared to look after our bodies in new, more enlightened ways? So that not only do we reach 100, but we zoom carefreely right past it, outliving all the nurses and assistants, and cut the cake ourselves.
That’s my new goal: to outlive everyone.
I know that life isn’t a go-kart race. But it could be. And quite honestly I’d rather be in a go-kart than a wheelchair any day.
Anyway, three years ago, after my utterly needless gallbladder operation, I was so annoyed with the medical profession that I set out on a major journey of exploration, experimenting with dozens of different methods, foods, techniques – much to the amusement of my friends, who thought I was insane! – in an attempt to find myself a bunch of small things I could do every day to prevent future sickness. To keep my body healthy and vital. And after much trial and error, I hit on a regimen that I’m sure no doctor would approve of, but which, to a health rebel like me, a wild man operating outside the system, made total sense and actually felt good when I tried it.
I discovered so many amazing things. What foods turn to acid in your stomach, what kind of exercise keeps disease at bay; even how to sit correctly on the toilet. Seems I’d been doing that all wrong for years. It’s been incredible.
Furthermore, starting today, I’m going to share some of this regimen with TV Swami readers. Not suggesting that you try it necessarily – that’s up to you. You’re a responsible adult, you must decide whether rebellions are right for you, like Phebopraximunxilkahesathite Plus . But more as a living example of what can be done to yourself on the inside, to keep in shape and try to ensure that your body is functioning at optimum levels well into old age.
Today’s topic is swishing. Or oil-pulling. In fact, I’ve been swishing while I wrote this. I do it most days, and find it carries significant benefits for me.
WHAT IT IS
Swishing is an ancient Ayurvedic technique (known as kavala gandoosha) that started thousands of years ago in India, and involves swilling organic sesame or sunflower oil around your mouth on an empty stomach each morning, to draw toxins out of the mucus membranes.
WHAT IT DOES
If you believe the holistic experts, swishing cleanses the bloodstream, ridding you of poisons. They claim it brings a certain amount of relief for sufferers of glaucoma, heart and kidney problems, ulcers, bronchitis, and a bunch of others. But even if you’re not ill, given that it removes toxins, it may well insure against future illness.
At the very least, it makes your teeth whiter and keeps your gums in incredible shape.
WHAT YOU NEED
1 tablespoon unrefined, cold-pressed, organic sunflower or sesame oil. (I use sunflower, it’s less heavy)
a glass of warm water
1 teaspoon of sea salt
an empty cup or ramekin
HOW TO DO IT
It’s so easy. About an hour after you get up in a morning, and before you eat breakfast, sip the oil into the mouth and start “chewing” it to trigger the saliva. Chew chew chew. Work it around the teeth, sucking and swilling it, keep it going. Swish for fifteen minutes or so. (Make sure you’re doing something else while this is going on; it’s very boring.) Then spit it out.
DO NOT SWALLOW THE OIL.
By the time you come to spit, it should have turned a foamy white. If it hasn’t, I bet you’re cheating and you didn’t keep it in long enough.
That foamy white stuff is toxic. So I spit it into the trash, not in the sink or the toilet. Apparently, if you spit it on a plant, the plant will die. I also carry a ramekin or cup with me during this process, because one time it triggered my gag reflex, I spat it down my shirt, and couldn’t get the stain out.
Once you’re done swishing, swill the mouth with the warm salted water, then spit that out too. You might want to clean your teeth at this point.
That’s it. Done. Morning swish over.
Obviously, if you’re allergic to one oil, use another. If you get side-effects, quit, or at least consult a health professional before continuing. You’re an adult, you know the drill. But several people in my circle do oil-pulling regularly, and nobody’s experienced any side-effects.
There’s a site that answers most of them. Read that before you try it. And of course Curezone has a very active support forum on oil-pulling, where you can ask every question you can think of and find out a whole bunch of information. Also, here’s a nice little article I found useful.
Anyway, Dolores Hope’s 100th birthday party ended at 7pm. As we were leaving, tripping drunkenly over photographers and wheelchairs, I saw there was a ton of food left on the table. Food that, because it was free, I’d eaten waaaaaaaay too much of. In passing, I asked one of the waitresses what would happen to it. She said they’d be throwing it away.
Appalled, I suggested they take it to a homeless shelter instead. “Oh no. We can’t,” she said. “The homeless people sue if you do that, claiming food poisoning. Then you have to pay them millions.”
They do? Jeez, another tragedy.
Probably in the past, one greedy, self-serving lawyer filed suit on behalf of a vagrant and won the case. Now all homeless people must suffer and go without free food because of one guy’s disgraceful opportunism and stupidity.
I mention this, by the way, only because there are stupid, greedy, opportunists everywhere these days. It’s simply a fact. People who’ll read my little blog here, somehow find a way to abuse the process, and rush straight to their lawyer. That’s why we have disclaimers. Mine’s to be found on that tab at the top of the page. I’d be grateful if you’d read it and digest the contents.
TV Swami – he say YES to spitting up toxins.
Did I mention the DISCLAIMER?