Daily Archives: June 14, 2009

What’s in the celebrity box? Ooh, lemme guess, lemme guess.

A box arrived by mistake at our house yesterday. The address on the label was correct, but the mailman delivered it to the wrong place, that’s all. 

Anyway, en route to the store mid-afternoon I decided to drop it off to its rightful owner. Didn’t know who that was, mind you, because the intended recipient was strange:  the name of a Beatles tune, followed by three initials. Odd, right?

Turns out that the address was movie-star Rachel Bilson’s house! You know her – the future Mrs Hayden Christensen. Or maybe she’s already married him, I have no clue. Now, I’d better not give you the name of the tune, in case it means something really important and I have to show at least some neighborly allegiance, but the initials in brackets were hers, I now realize.

First, I rang the bell on the gate. There was a car parked in the garage, so I knew someone was in. However, nobody answered. So then I walked around to the side gate, tried that and….oh my lordy, it was open! Friends of ours used to own this house, so I’d been through here many times. I walked in, went up to the front door and paused. Should I knock? What if I did and Rachel herself answered the door – what then? She’d look at me and say, “Who the hell are you?” and I’d look at her and say, “Why the hell was I nervous about knocking? I have no idea who you are or what you’ve done.”

In the end, though, that never happened. Assuming whoever was in there didn’t want to speak to callers, I dropped the box on the step and left.  

And what was in the box? I can’t tell you, obviously. It was very light, had the outline of a sneaker on the side, and was about the size of a woman’s shoe, without actually containing a shoe. So now you know.

 

http://www.cashpeters.com

Cash’s New book: Naked in Dangerous Places. Watch video below.

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I despair.

Ever written a daily blog, then eventually become so depressed by it that you’ve considered quitting to do something more fruitful?  That’s where I’m at right now.

I looked at the list of search referrals on WordPress yesterday, to take a look at what keywords people are typing into their search engines to reach TV Swami, and here’s the top ten searches in order of popularity. 

who are the modern day prophets  
spanking television  
celeb hating  
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proff that american idol is rigged  
chef spanking  
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show me chris isaaks huge and hard cock  
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Why, given this caliber of visitor, would I ever wish to continue writing something of quality? What’s the point?

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