Daily Archives: July 22, 2009

I feel the chill wind of cheapness, how about you?

Before you ask, no. I didn’t give in to temptation.  

And thanks to all those lovely people who wrote to me in various forms, supporting and encouraging me not to break my diet and eat the free cake being given away at Starbucks yesterday.You should be very proud of me for not lapsing.

starbucksI mean, I went to Starbucks, of course. How could I not? It was Free Cake Day, an occasion always worth celebrating. But I didn’t take part in the festivities. I just bought a bottle of water and sat there like a doofus on the sidelines, drinking it while I did some writing, the way I sometimes do.

But that was it.

That said, you know what’s odd? Not only was I not eating free cake, but nobody was.

I’ll pause for gasps.

Starbucks was empty and the cabinet  jam-packed with unsold cake. The staff looked quite depressed, I thought. Though not as depressed as the cake. It was like visiting an animal shelter. And as you know, I’m all heart. I wanted to gather up the stray and abandoned muffins and sad-looking croissants from the cabinet and put them in a place where they’d be safe and feel loved. My stomach was the first place that came to mind.   

There can only be two reasons for what I gather was a failed PR campaign.

a) Either promoting your special offer on Facebook doesn’t work, which is entirely possible. And something I can vouch for, actually. I put another couple of books up for auction on eBay the other day. No fuss. I didn’t promote the fact. I just mentioned it half-heartedly in passing on Facebook. And guess what! There’s been only one bid. ONE! I’m heartbroken. I’ll never do that again. Facebook as a promotional tool is dead to me. It’s rubbish. Tell your friends.   

Alternatively, b) the economy is so bad, and people such utter cheapskates, that, while they wanted free cake – of course, because cake is a staple, right? Nobody says no to cake – they didn’t want to pay for the coffee that went with it. Presumably these are the same folks who arrive at Disneyland eager to go on the rides, but who refuse to pay to get in. Or who see that a great book is up for auction on eBay and don’t bid for it. Bastards.

Anyway, Free Cake Day – which, fingers crossed, will happen annually and perhaps be made into a national holiday – came and went without incident. 

That means I’m still on the raw food diet, and feeling better than ever. Results after sixteen days are amazing: tons more energy, great skin, increased mental acuity (listeners to the BBC show last night will not have noticed this, sadly, since I was all over the place and appeared not to be able to concentrate on one thing for even two seconds), a few detox symptoms, but not many, and a tingly sensation in my legs, which may or may not be the onset of shingles.

Next challenge: an Italian restaurant Friday night with friends. There is nothing raw on the menu. NOTHING. Even the salads have cooked or processed stuff in them. Which means I may be faced with the ignominy and embarrassment of taking a packed lunch with me and nibbling at it while everyone else eats. Oh dear.   

In short, though: hurray for me. Only 84 days to go.


Buy Cash’s travel book, Naked in Dangerous Places,  HERE.

Watch Cash’s movie, Fast and Very Loose HERE.

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