Of poop and pencils.

Today, let’s play catch-up. There are several loose ends that need tying up, and, since this is my blog, it falls to me to tie them.

1) Raw Food Diet.  

Can you believe it? It’s been over ten weeks since you got tired of me raw food 2talking about my switch to 100% raw food and asked me never to mention it again. Well, 73 days later, in spite of your low tolerance for someone else’s dull ramblings about salad, I’m still going strong. Feeling great, looking emaciated (lost 12 lbs, mainly off my calves and man-boobs, I believe), and pretty much convinced that raw, living food is the way to go. You can keep your tasty but dead meals, pal; me, I’m not interested.

2) BioElectric Shield.

Remember, this is the silver and gold crystal pendant that is supposed to deflect other people’s anger, as well as all electromagnetic frequencies from cellphones, computers, and satellites, leaving you feeling unnaturally calm and happy.

shieldNow, I’ve only had it since Monday, so it’s a bit early to say. But I wore it the first night and barely slept a wink, it was horrible. Other than that, I’ve had it around my neck for two days and….I feel unnaturally calm and happy.

Obviously, it has to be a gag. I’m gullible, we all know that; I’ll buy into any fad or craze, however odd. All the same, I am on a noticeable plateau of tranquility right now, which could be explained by several things, but, to me, the BioElectric Shield is obviously the prime suspect.

3) Red Snappers.  

Indulge me. This started as a report I did for the U.S. radio show I work for, Marketplace, ages ago. (You can hear the report HERE) I made a string of attractive framed sculptures, all featuring broken pencils, labeled them “Rebel Folk Art”, and sold them on Ebay.

They were hugely popular and sold like crazy. A guy from Ebay Head Office said it was the funniest thing they’d ever seen and bought one for their archives. All the rest sold too.

Well, every so often I like to make another batch. I have no idea whether snapper picthey’ll sell or not, but that’s half the fun. I hope they do, because I get to stay in touch with the buyers very often, which is nice.

Anyway, the latest Red Snapper is up for grabs on Ebay right now. You can see it HERE.

4) Fast and Very Loose.

My little 13-minute documentary short about The Master Cleanser has master cleanserbeen doing the rounds of film festivals over the summer, and even picked up an award recently. After that it made an appearance on Vimeo (Watch it HERE), where, amazingly, it has been viewed by around 1100 people in the past week and a half. Yes, you read it right: 1100. It’s highly educational.

So today I broadened its scope once again by sticking it on YouTube for the whole world to enjoy. And by “the whole world”, I mean hopefully more than the 19 people who’ve watched it there so far, please god. 

Because YouTube, crazily, only allows videos to be 10 minutes long, I’ve had to split it into two parts. Watch part 1 HERE. And part 2 HERE. See me trampoline, lift weights, lick cookies, poop and vomit. You’ll think Christmas came early.

Or, if that’s too much effort for you, how about right here?    

And that’s it. We’ve taken care of all outstanding business. And of course I felt no pressure at any moment. I was relaxed, mellow, unhurried, and carefree throughout. Thanks, BioElectric Shield.



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