I know, before you say it – Carrie Prejean is a stupid, vacuous, delusional young woman. I was going to say bitch, but Perez Hilton beat me to it.
More than that: a stupid, delusional, vacuous young woman whose show of outrage and cynical tears at a press conference yesterday was so preposterous that it made David Shuster on MSNBC want to vomit, and he said so.
Prejean has been brainwashed by the upbringing she keeps mentioning (and actually, with no trace of irony, seems quite proud of) into believing that God and the Devil are fighting inside her head. Inside her head, though. That’s what she told Focus on the Family’s religious nutjob leader Frank Dobson on his radio show, and she honestly believes it. God and the Devil chose the head of a glamorous, over-preened dimwit as their battle-ground to wage this particular stage of their eternal struggle.
And while they’re duking it out, fighting for supremacy – Satan’s using hateful gay people like Perez Hilton to get his message out there; God’s using Carrie herself – God and the Devil are telling her things. Things only Carrie can hear, of course, but which she’s happy to interpret and relay to the rest of us who have the misfortune of not being completely bonkers.
God, for instance, is saying things like, “You – you of all people, Carrie – on April 19th, the day of the Miss USA Pageant, were chosen to be a role model for discrimination and division, and you need to get out there right now, little lady, and use your title as Miss California to spread as much unrest and misinformation as you can and let the world know that “opposite marriage” is Satan’s work.”
Or something like that. I was too busy laughing to catch every word.
And to help her along, God got Sarah Palin to rush in and endorse Prejean’s brand of Bigotry Lite, as well as inspiring thousands of equally narrow-minded dimwits around the country to send her emails of comfort and support, convincing her she’d done the right thing.
And I have no doubt that, if this were the late 1800s, they’d be writing in to support her decision to back slavery as well.
That’s why I believe that yesterday’s announcement by Donald Trump, the guy who owns the pageant, to let this twit keep her crown, despite a bunch of tits-and-ass-related lies and deceptions and rule-breaking that TMZ.com and others are claiming went into winning it, is a PR masterstroke.
Trump truly is a genius. I’ve never admitted that before. But after he managed to bring the tired old Apprentice franchise back from the dead and turn it into a smash hit again, and now this – well, I take my hat off to him. And I don’t even own a hat. So you can tell how much I admire the guy.
He’s such a total shrewdie.
Having seen, I assume, that Prejean was heading for trouble. That she was destined to be a victim of her own dumb mouth and a national hate-figure. And possibly suspecting that her pre-packaged, all-American, natural blonde beauty hid within it a dark core of fear, ignorance, and prejudice that would appeal to millions of similarly misinformed Christians across the country, he leapt at the chance of having her as a figurehead within his organization.
His reasoning in a nutshell: “Hey, she’s cute. It’s the 21st Century. These things happen. Get over it.”
But that’s not, I believe. the real reason.
Why did he really bend over backwards to keep her in the game?
Because, like Sarah Palin, everywhere this girl goes from now on she’s going to be dogged by controversy. And any kind of controversy, as we know, is excellent for business. Donald’s business.
Starting yesterday, Prejean became an even bigger target. At every public appearance, she’ll no doubt be cheered by a few similar dimwits who share her views, while being jeered and despised for her ignorance by everyone else. David Shuster isn’t the only one who feels like vomiting when he hears this woman speak. Hell, I’ve never been an activist, but even I would turn up to an event to heckle Miss California.
Possibly foreseeing how this despicable drama might scotch the reputation of what has been, up to now, a fairly clean competition, Shanna Moakler, the pageant director, today resigned her post and walked off the stage. Good for her. At least someone has principles we can believe in.
But the best thing of all – at least potentially – and here’s where Donald Trump really has himself a coup – maybe – is that the issue of gay marriage is currently rolling through the California Supreme Court. By June 3rd, we’ll know whether the judges have decided to overturn the cataclysmic Proposition 8, the anti-gay marriage, pro-hate move sponsored by the despicable Mormon Church, and allow equality for all.
Five states have already seen reason; California could be the next to go.
And if it does, we will witness the most deliciously ludicrous situation develop: one in which Miss California, prominent fool and vocal proponent of division and inequality, finds herself playing the representative of a state that completely undermines everything she stands for.
Oh dear almighty God – now she’s got me talking to him too – please, please, please make this happen, I beg of thee.
To sum, up: the current state of play is this: Miss California has won the right to keep her crown, despite a whole bunch of tits-and-ass-related shenaningans. By June 3rd, gays in California may well win the legal right to get married finally. But…
The overall winner, whichever way the Supreme Court dice fall, is Donald Trump and his crummy Miss USA Pageant, another faded, forgotten hack tradition that he’s managed to turn around and make current and exciting all over again.
As I say, that man’s a genius.
UPDATE: June 10th 2009. Carrie Prejean has finally been booted from her title of Miss California.
This from the TMZ website:
Donald Trump just told TMZ he gave the green light to fire “biblically correct” Carrie Prejean‘s award-winning butt because she just wouldn’t do the job and treated people badly.
Trump told us Carrie refused to appear at around 30 events on behalf of Miss California USA. He says Prejean was contractually bound to appear and she just wouldn’t do it. He doesn’t think her attitude has anything to do with her politics.
Trump said: “To me she was the sweetest thing. Everyone else — she treated like s**t.”
The Miss USA Pageant gets four magic carpets out of five. Carrie Prejean gets zero.
TV Swami – he say NO to bigotry.
There’s a great parody of Carrie’s ridiculous, two-faced speech on YouTube.