Not too long ago, I was in a clothes store on Robertson Boulevard in Hollywood and saw Jeremy Piven in the changing room trying on shirts. It was nothing. Showbiz tittle-tattle. A minor, borderline interesting sub-snippet of news about an incident that lasted ten minutes, one I wrote about in an earlier post. Done, over, forgotten.
But wait. It’s not done.
What I wrote back then is now officially THE most popular post on TV Swami. An instant classic. Nothing beats it as a crowd-puller.
Doesn’t matter what I write on any given day, or how passionately I write it, or how current and pressing the topic, I can absolutely guarantee that most of the traffic passing through this blog will pretty much ignore everything I say and go straight to the Jeremy Piven page. How mind-blowing is that?
It wasn’t always that way. The most popular page used to be the one entitled Boys. Spanking. Bad., which is about none of these things, incidentally, but which has always garnered massive attention, presumably from pervs and prison inmates.
Not any more, though. Now it’s Jeremy Piven all day every day.
I know this because there’s a page I can go to that tells me the keywords people typed into their search engine in order to eventually wind up at this site. It’s not encouraging. Yesterday, for instance, the top nine search engine keywords or phrases were as follows:
jeremy piven naked
naked 10 year boys
jeremy piven shirt off
bad boy needs spanking
part of a cake
cash peters “gay”
mary tyler moore looks terrible.
And believe it or not, the list is like that most days, with some kind of random Piven reference holding onto the number one slot, followed by a jumbled assortment of naked boys (always), Mary Tyler Moore’s peculiar facelift (regular as clockwork), rounded off with the ever-popular “Is Cash Peters gay?” reference. Whoever keeps typing that in their search engine and never finding an answer – bless you; we should do lunch sometime.
I mention all of this only because I was on the Hollywood Reporter site recently, watching video interviews with TV stars about their upcoming shows or seasons, and I spotted one featuring Jeremy Piven. So, since I feel we’re closely and irredeemably connected now, and since I’m clearly missing something about his appeal that’s obvious to millions of others – including the people who hand out prestigious awards, because he has a warehouse full for his acting gifts – and I’m beginning to feel insecure about it, I sat and watched the video.
And quite honestly – I’m just as baffled now as I was before I saw it.
Here’s a link. Go take a look. See if you don’t agree. Maybe it’s just me, but this guy is just – a guy. That’s it. An actor in a successful cable show, and a bit of a smartass possibly. But otherwise unremarkable, right?
What am I missing? Please. Somebody.