This just in:
The first three minutes of Syfy’s latest supernatural drama series Warehouse 13 were terrible. Not only that, but Syfy is also a terrible name for a network. So it’s a double whammy of sorts. Two mistakes in one.
The show is about a hangar in the desert in South Dakota that’s filled with all the mysterious artifacts collected by the US government over the years, and which the public is never allowed to see or know about.
Same way they weren’t allowed to know about the secret hangar at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark where thousands of mysterious artifacts were stored. In fact, this may be the same hangar. There can’t possibly be two of them. I’m assuming, therefore, that the creator of Warehouse 13 saw Raiders of the Lost Ark when he was a kid and thought, “You know what? That would make a brilliant idea for a science fiction TV show someday.”
And look how wrong he was!
Now, I know, I shouldn’t judge a series on the first three minutes of the pilot. But I’m quick on the uptake and I know what I like and don’t like, and I don’t like this. At first glance, the acting is excruciating – “You say a line, then I’ll say a line, then when you’ve said your line I’ll say my next line, then we’ll go to lunch.” – the script is dire, and the action too slow to unfold.
But perhaps I’m being unfair. The idea has potential at least (how many Indiana Jones pictures were there – four?). So this time, rather than give in to my first impulse last night, which was to delete it from TiVo before it had barely started, I’m going to try again tonight. Call it quitter’s remorse.
I left the “story” at the point where a woman lying naked in bed was toying with an FBI badge, gurgling, “I know what you do” to the guy she’d just had sex with. Well, that was enough for me. It’s a supernatural series; you don’t have to be TV Einstein to figure out that hooking viewers at the very start with something supernatural or horrific might be the way to go, not a naked woman on a bed. Sci-fi geeks are asexual, we all know that.
Still, I’m intrigued enough by the concept to watch the next three minutes. Once I have, I’ll report back and tell you whether this show is worth any face time at all.
Already, though, the signs aren’t good.
TV Swami – he biting his tongue.
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