Tag Archives: weight loss

Man boobs. This time it’s personal.

 Raw food update.

(I realize how many of you will read that first line, groan, and immediately leave the blog, but it’s important. To me anyway. Plus, since a few readers saw what I was doing and began a similar regime themselves, it’s important to them too.)

I’ve been on the raw food diet now for…I lost count somewhere along the way, but I believe it’s over three weeks, almost four. During that time, the following happened:

  1. I lost ten pounds. Not ten pounds I could afford to lose, I was already before-afterthin, but ten pounds nonetheless.  My neck is thinner, my shirts are hanging off me, I look good in a bikini again. Also, people are starting to comment adversely. “God, you’re so skinny!”
  2. My feet started aching. It’s painful to walk now, for some reason, though of course all the organs in the body have nerve endings in the feet, so it’s obviously related. Maybe my insides are screaming for help. Yes, that’s probably it.
  3. I started to feel really alive. Focused, athletic, strong, determined.
  4. My skin is fantastic. I had one or two minor break-outs while I was detoxing, and I got an ulcer on my tongue that was reeeeally painful. Otherwise, I’m developing a bit of a glow. And in a world looking for alternative sources of energy, that can’t be a bad thing.
  5. My food allergies have subsided. I put this down to the fact that I’m not eating the foods I’m allergic to. Duh.
  6. My man-boobs (I’m a B-cup), which developed years ago after I drank way too many lattes (containing hormones) and ate way too much acidic food (which does something to encourage estrogen, I believe) suddenly look even more ridiculous than they did before. [UPDATE: August 25th 2011]. The answer to man-boobs, I’m now discovering, is to cut out wheat initially, then do push-ups to tighten the skin. Lots and lots of push-ups. I started 10 days ago, doing 3 a day (which is all I could manage), then gradually increasing the number each morning. Already I’m doing 18 a day. And two people have commented that my moobs look significant smaller, as the muscles tighten, causing the skin to be pulled taut. Oh yes. But the core issue is about wheat. If you haven’t read the book Wheat Belly by Dr. William Davis, you should. He puts enlarged breasts in men mainly down to the crap that’s in modern-day wheat.
  7. My senses are heightened. My sense of smell, for instance, is through the roof. Unfortunately, this makes normal food smell even better and more enticing than it really is, and I want some. NOW!
  8. Friends are avoiding me. In droves. The telephone never rings any more.  Apparently, I’m considered a real bore because I’m so enthusiastic about nutrition and they’re not, and every time I eat something live and raw and healthy it reminds them that what they’re eating is dead and slowly killing them. So? What’s wrong with that?
  9. I’m not being invited out to dinner or to dinner parties. dinnerPeople are anticipating that I’ll be an awkward guest and start picking and choosing what I’ll eat (and they’re not wrong), which ruins it for everyone. Our neighbors called up last night and invited my partner out to dinner. My name didn’t even come up.
  10. My partner makes his own food without consulting me and sits eating it, reading a magazine, hoping silently that I don’t bring up the subject of raw food, because if I mention one more time that what he’s putting in his mouth is dead he may lash out.
  11. I paid for an internet course on how to reduce the size of my moobs. The trick seems to be to increase the alkalinity of your diet and do weights to tighten the chest. I begin that next week. (MANBOOB UPDATE: Discovered that man boobs are caused by the consumption of wheat. Didn’t know that. It’s in a NY Times bestselling book called ‘Wheat Belly,’ which I wholewheatedly recommend.)
  12. Salads I used to eat in local restaurants now taste vile. This is because they use vegetables sprayed with pesticides and for the first time I can actually taste them.
  13. The food cravings won’t go away. Cake especially. But I’ve managed to talk some sense into myself before eating them, and avoided lapsing. However, cake, being sacred, will definitely be a part of my diet again in the future. It is the law.
  14. Most of the food I used to eat holds no allure or appeal any more. Pasta may smell good, but I have no desire whatsoever to put it in my mouth. And chicken….yeuw.
  15. feet15. Except for the soles of my feet, which hurt like hell, I feel terrific. My body has adapted quickly.
  16. 16. I’ve learned to “cook” raw meals at home that are really very exciting and delicious. Raw is not as dismal or eccentric as it at first sounds.
  17. Raw restaurants make better raw food than I could ever make myself. I should have learned that by now.
  18. I eat so much less food than I used to. When the food is raw, or in juice form, it is almost all nutrition, so you need less of it. Dead food, because it contains barely any nutrients at all, has to be consumed in bulk for the body to benefit. Afterwards, you’re soon hungry again and eating more. That’s why people put on weight. Eat healthy food and the pounds fall off you. Though not, I’m discovering, off your man-boobs, which obstinately remain the same size.
  19. L.A. has some fabulous raw food places, and the health food stores here have whole aisles dedicated to raw food. Only in California.
  20. owlI’m developing “raw food eyes”, according to some friends. This is the intense, glaring, pop-eyed expression that people on high nutrition diets get after a while. I promised I wouldn’t, but it’s unavoidable, apparently. Damn.
  21. I sometimes feel entirely separate from my physical body. Floaty, distant, totally at peace within. It’s like I’m just a high frequency spirit trapped inside a low frequency physical form. Oh, wait, that’s exactly what I am!
  22. I’m impatient and bad-tempered sometimes now. This is because raw food sharpens your nerve endings to a point and you can’t stand to be around fools any more. Clearly, I was extremely attractive to fools previously.
  23. Raw food is  Oh-my-god-Level expensive. I don’t know how much I’ve spent on food and ingredients for meals these past three or four weeks, but it’s still a small fortune. I’m out of pocket by hundreds of dollars. And that doesn’t even include the cost of the course on how to reduce my man-boobs.
  24. I stopped counting the days about a week ago. But since beginning this piece, I’ve now done a calculation of how long I’ve been raw, and it’s only 24 days. 76 left to go. Yike.

So there you go. The work continues. Sorry if that’s boring for the rest of you, but I’m genuinely shocked at what a worthwhile experiment this is. Clearly, we’re eating all the wrong stuff and our bodies hate it. We’re just not listening to what they’re telling us. Same way my partner and most of my friends no longer listen to me.

Raw Food Further Update

Completed 100-day raw food challenge mid-October. Lost 14lbs total, feel fantastic – beyond fantastic: calm, focused, present, centered; skin is translucent and clear.

On the downside: I look very skinny, have lost my ass completely; am considered a pain in other people’s asses at dinner parties where I actually can barely eat anything they serve; get ill if I try.

It’s very difficult after 100 days to reverse the good that’s been done to the body. Eat cooked food and you get stomach ache. What’s more, things you used to love eating you now can’t get down. Or at least you can get them down, but you can’t keep them down. Pasta looks disgusting, fries are unappealing, chocolate cake tastes like warmed-up snot; bacon smells of diarrhea; and chicken is positively the worst thing ever in the history of the world. No exaggeration.

All in all, extremely happy, then. It all came good. There were brief lapses, and I did have tea occasionally. Plus, I had to eat bread or crackers now and then as binder, otherwise, what with all the fruit and veg, I was developing BIG problems “downstairs”.  But that’s all. And therefore I declare this a massive, life-changing success.

Thank you and goodnight.


 Everything you read above, by the way, came about because Cash was researching a book about health and healing. After heading  down to Brazil on a meditation retreat, he came across groups of people living the raw food life and recovering from all kinds of diseases and physical ailments. That convinced him.

It’s available here.


Filed under Television commentary

“Screw you!” An exciting new approach to life.

When I started doing this blog thing, I remember promising that I’d write it in odd moments, whenever time allowed. Some days there’d be a post, some days there wouldn’t. It all depended on how I felt. Which is fair enough, right?

But then something weird started happening. On the days I was too busy and didn’t write a post, traffic on this site was as high as when I did, if not higher. I couldn’t believe it. More people wanted to read what I wasn’t saying than what I was.

In other words: a certain amount of effort on my part produced a certain result, but zero effort produced an even better result.

And I guess word got around:

A: “Did you hear, he didn’t write anything today?”

B: “Nooooo. You’re B.S.ing me.”

A: “I swear to God. Go see for yourself. It’s the same post he had up there the other day. He’s written nothing – no-thing – today.”

B: “Hang on – I’ll be right back. This I have to see.”

And the number of hits went through the roof.

Which is both funny and, at the same time, utterly baffling. It basically means that the less work we do, the more we get rewarded.

And that’s when I realized – it came to me in a loud, epiphanous blast like the crack of thunder you get when a casino collapses – that this is a theme of my life. And possibly of everyone else’s too. We’ve been doing this all wrong, and there’s a lesson to be learned.  

In college, for instance, I studied law. Studied the hell out of it, as a matter of fact. Actually, I’d go one step further: I’d say that no student in history has ever studied as much or worked harder to get his degree than I did in those days. Looking back, I think I may even have intimidated the law by studying it so hard. Seven days a week, all hours of the day and night, every free moment, pursuing knowledge with so much vigor and such a punishing zeal that it wanted to run away and hide, and ’til my eyes bled with the effort.

I was a perfectionist. I wanted to be the very best at studying law, and beat my friends, many of whom studied only half as hard as I did, preferring to mop up their free hours with heavy drinking, meaningless sex, and smuggling all my furniture and belongings out of my room onto the lawn the moment my back was turned. Slackers. 

So imagine my shock when, at the end of three laborious years, I emerged from university with only a mediocre degree, while my slacker friends all did unusually well. Way better than I did anyway. They shone. Where my overall marks weren’t that great and my relative understanding of the subject considered disappointing, especially given how hard I’d tried, theirs were top-notch, and every last one of them drifted – again, with almost no  effort – into top-paying legal jobs all over Britain.

Not that I’m bitter about their success or anything, but…grrrr.

Anyway, I learned two things from that particularly grim episode of my life: a) don’t trust your friends, they’ll steal your furniture; and b) hard work doesn’t pay off. 

In other words, slackers rule!

Isn’t that wild?

Contrary to what you’ve been led to believe by your parents and Anthony Robbins, keeping your eye on the ball, being diligent, and committing to a goal 100% – that’s the loser’s way. It virtually guarantees a poor outcome, leading to years of hardship, disappointment, and personal misery. 

I’m a living example. Looking back through my life, the harder I’ve tried to make something perfect, the more man-hours I’ve plowed into it, the more effort I’ve invested in a particular pre-determined outcome or goal, or in making something work out, the less likely it ever was to succeed. 

My TV show was the best example I can come up with right now. Unless, that is, you count my latest travel book.

Conversely, the more laid-back you are about what you’re doing, the more you don’t care about outcomes, the less you chase success, attention, approval, readers, or blog traffic, the more chance there is that you’ll get the very thing you don’t seem to care about.

This phenomenon doesn’t have a name right now, so let’s give it one.  As from today, it will be called The Peters Paradox.  A whole new system of not giving a rat’s ass.

In short, the message seems to be: back off. Work, by all means, but only up to a point. Do what you have to do, then stop. Don’t let it consume you. Fill your life with fun and distractions and enthusiasms and interests and whatever else catches your eye. Don’t make your job the be-all and end-all. And to hell with perfection. Getting it done is more important than getting it right. Trust me, I know.

So today, for instance, I was going to write 700-1000 words about Kirstie Alley’s weight issues, continuing the conversation we began last night on my BBC slot. But now, after mature consideration, and employing the full power of The Peters Paradox, I won’t be bothering.

All I’ll say is, when Kirstie starred in Cheers she was thin and gorgeous. Then she exploded to 200lbs. That’s when she became the Jenny Craig anti-obesity spokesperson for a while.  The moment she stopped being an anti-obesity spokesperson, however, she exploded back up to 200lbs or so again. Now she’s as big as a truck, and she went on Oprah this week to apologize for letting everyone down. 

Truth is, though: 1) we don’t care – be fat if you want to, Kirstie, just stop telling us about it; and 2) you were probably invited on the show to make Oprah look thin, because compared to you she is. And that doesn’t happen very often.   

There. Everything I wanted to say in a full article, but dashed off in a paragraph with absolutely the bare minimum of effort.

Now, with my new free time, I’m going to start drinking early and I might even have sex, if I can find someone to have it with. And once I’ve had sex I will be smuggling my partner’s furniture out of his room, and dumping it on the lawn. That’s the kind of guy I am nowadays. A slacker.

It’s a perfect example of The Peters Paradox in action.


TV Swami – he say NO to hard work and getting anything done – EVER.



Filed under Cash Peters, radio, television, Television commentary